what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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