I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize