D3 body, D1 cock
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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