Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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