Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
