it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
