i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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