Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
