Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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