you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Randomize