i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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