dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
