Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize