Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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