So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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