She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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