My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
