I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize