just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
