thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize