I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
