After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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