Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
