If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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