I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
