All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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