we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Randomize
