careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
