i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
