I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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