i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
