The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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