we have pet lesbian snakes
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
