So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Randomize