I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
