2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
ok first of all what the fuck
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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