why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
