YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
