I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize