you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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