Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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