Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
