I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
