Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
