Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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