let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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