u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
