I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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