This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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