Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
