well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
