god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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