shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
time to smoke my breakfast
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
