Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
