rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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