Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
