the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
