I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
