Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
