my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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