does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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