that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
