and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I wear drunk well.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
