We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
