fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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