The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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