This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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