i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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