so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize