The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
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